


Let the Sunshine In

by rosesgonerogue



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Jasonette, MariBat, batfam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22011130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesgonerogue/pseuds/rosesgonerogue
Summary: At the darkest point in her life, Marinette felt like she couldn't really lean on anyone except for Robin. When he died, she became determined to never need anyone again, to never feel that strongly again. Years later, though, she finds someone who needs her, an angry man named Jason that is strangely familiar.
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Jason Todd
Comments: 85
Kudos: 747





	1. Chapter 1

Ladybug collapsed in an empty alleyway, her entire body screaming from the latest akuma attack. She desperately wanted to cry, but she couldn’t give Hawkmoth any reason to try to akumatize her. Besides, in this state, she might just agree to his demands. 

She still had a few minutes before she transformed back, and in desperation, she flipped open her yo-yo. “I know the Justice League told me to stop ‘prank calling,’ but… I just need to feel like someone cares about this city. Please find me one person who is willing to help.” 

Jason should have been at school, but after getting in a fight he’d made the executive decision that he was taking the rest of the day off. He knew Alfred was planning on cleaning the mansion that day, so he found himself loitering around the Batcave when a call came in.

He was already in costume for… training, so Jason just had to slap on his Robin mask before answering. “Hello?” 

On the screen was the most beautiful girl that Jason had ever seen. She looked around his age, wearing a red-spotted suit and a matching domino mask. However, her mask didn’t obscure the clearest blue eyes that Jason had ever seen. They were entrancing, but also a bit broken, like him. She had seen too much, done too much. 

“Hello?” she said in heavily accented English. “Who is this?” 

“You’re calling a super-secure super computer, sweetcheeks. I believe that’s my line,” Robin said with an impish grin. 

He immediately regretted his statement when the girl looked close to crying. “I-I’m Ladybug, one of Paris’s heroes.” 

“But Paris doesn’t have--”

“Obviously we do have heroes,” the girl--Ladybug--snapped. “I’m not just a child pretending like the Justice League accused me of. Our heroes are real, and our villain is very real. Hawkmoth is getting better and more dangerous as time goes by. I don’t know how much more our city can handle.” 

Jason straightened, somehow already sold on this girl’s story. “Do you have any photographs or footage of any of the events? I can talk to Batman about it--or at the very least irritate him until he listens.” 

Ladybug’s eyes widened, a glimmer of hope lighting up her face. “Batman? That means you’re--”

She was cut off by a beeping noise that made her curse softly under her breath. “I have to go, but I’ll call again. Thank you for listening, Robin.” 

“I’ll do what research I can, Ladybug. We’ll help you out,” Jason promised earnestly. 

Marinette smiled, the first genuine smile she’d had for days, possibly longer. Probably since she had become the Guardian of the Miracle Box. “You really don’t know how much I needed someone to care, Robin. Thank you. Bug out.” 

From then on, Ladybug fought with the knowledge and hope that people could and did care about her city. She called Robin on and off to plan how to convince the League that the situation in Paris was very real. He was brilliant, although it was obvious that everyone could see it except Robin himself. They even got to the point that Marinette would call them friends. There were a lot of things she couldn’t tell him and he couldn’t tell her, but they learned to ease one another’s burdens in whatever ways they could. Robin made her feel like Marinette could handle being the Guardian, and Ladybug made Jason feel like he was more than a street kid who couldn’t fill Dick Grayson’s shoes.

Things seemed to be looking up for Marinette on all accounts--schoolwork seemed easier, she had just the perfect number of commissions, and Lila had at least temporarily directed her attention elsewhere. 

They had set aside a time to plan every week, but one week Jason didn’t answer right away. Marinette didn’t think anything of it at first, he was probably busy. But when she tried again, it wasn't Robin that answered, but Batman. 

“How did you get this channel?” he demanded in a voice gruffer than Marinette thought was possible for a human being to produce. “Who are you?”

“L-Ladybug. I’m Ladybug, sir, and I was calling for Robin.” 

At these words, the man’s face distorted into the embodiment of distrust and rage. “You think this is funny? Because I will--”

“What’s wrong?” Marinette asked, dread curdling in her stomach. “Did something happen to Robin?” 

She couldn’t see his eyes from behind the cowl, but Marinette knew Batman was glaring at her, the singularly most terrifying moment of her life. “Robin is dead, because that’s what happens when children try to play hero. Leave that kind of thing to the adults, little girl, unless you want to end up the same way.” 

Robin is dead. 

Robin is dead. 

Robin is dead. 

Those three words pounded through Marinette’s head like an inescapable drumbeat. At some point the yo-yo had fallen out of her hand, and Batman had hung up with the strict instructions never to call again. 

The world felt fuzzy, not quite real to Marinette. In an unexpected moment of clarity, though, Marinette realized: strong emotions were coming. She knew she wouldn’t be able to deny Hawkmoth, not with the fresh grief coursing through her. Right now, even if it was just a short time, she needed to be able to feel. 

Marinette swung herself through Paris’s streets faster than ever before, launching herself at her balcony with desperation. Her transformation timed out just as she landed, making it easier to slip on Kaalki’s glasses. 

She had transformed with Kaalki once or twice before, and for some reason this kwami always made her feel a bit antsy. The second that the transformation settled, Marinette opened up a portal to the first place in her mind that was both out of Hawkmoth’s range, and secluded enough that she wouldn’t have to worry about being seen or heard. 

It was too much, losing Master Fu and then Robin. They had been the only things keeping Marinette sane and grounded, and she couldn’t talk about them with anyone else. That combined with the pressure of being Ladybug made Marinette feel like she was going to explode. So she screamed, she screamed until her voice broke, dissolving into pathetic sobbing as she collapsed in on herself on the forest floor. 

One by one, the kwamis emerged and surrounded her, concerned. 

Tikki was the first to speak. “Are you alright, Marinette?” 

“How did he die?” 

The kwamis traded uneasy glances. “What?” 

“Robin. Can you tell me how he died?” Marinette asked, clutching her knees to her chest. “I just… I need to know.” 

“Marinette, I don’t think--”

“She deserves to know,” Wayzz said, interrupting Tikki. “Marinette is no child. SHe’s already had Master Fu taken from her, but she can’t grieve with anyone. She can’t even speak to anyone about it but us. She needs this closure, even if it’s heavy to bear.” 

Tikki reluctantly agreed. “This would be easier if Plagg were here, but we can probably show you an approximation of what happened to the boy.” 

The kwamis present circled around her, a soft magic glow spreading across all of them. A series of images flashed through her mind, each worse than the last: the glint of a raised crowbar, a pale face with a maniacal grin, blood spattered across grimy floorboards… The worst of all, however, was the image of Robin’s face as the bomb counted down to zero, the hopelessness that came from knowing that no one would come to save him. 

Logically there had been no way for Marinette to know that any of this was happening, but she knew she would never be able to forgive herself. One of her only allies in the entire world had died scared and alone, and there was no excuse for that. 

She allowed herself to cry for a while longer, the torrent of emotions too much. But alas, negative emotions, and often emotions in general were a luxury that Marinette Dupain-Cheng could not afford. When her tears ran out, Marinette simply straightened up, fed Kaalki a sugar cube, and went back to Paris. 

From that day on, Marinette never spoke of Master Fu or Robin again, even to the kwami. She locked them deep in her heart where they could stay until Hawkmoth had been dealt with. As both Marinette and Ladybug, she devoted herself to ensuring that no one would ever feel as alone and afraid as Robin had. 

Ladybug was stronger, better at her job than before while Marinette was kinder, more helpful, and more generous than ever. To some it seemed like it was the same as always, but those that really knew her had noticed: her smile was never the same. It was… damaged, somehow, something like seeing the outline of the sun through a veil of clouds.


	2. Chapter 2

Three Years Later

Awareness came in waves. There was a constant drumming that was enough to drive someone insane, as well as someone breathing heavily. It sounded wrong, and even worse, it felt wrong. For some reason it gave him the visceral urge--no, the need to hurt, to maim, to kill.

After the sound came the pain, the feeling of needles dancing across his skin, of circulation resuming in disused limbs. Soon after came the smell of sulfur, of something rotten. Finally a toxic green light filtered into his vision, the unnatural shade looking infinitely distasteful. 

What was this? Where was he? His mind felt broken, fractured--the information he needed was all there, somewhere, the pieces just didn’t fit together, and it pissed him off. 

He was in some kind of disgusting, green water, and outside the water a whole host of people waited. The pounding grew faster as his eyes flicked around. A part of him swore to find whoever was responsible for the drumming and acquaint their face with a wall. 

“-odd, we simply want to--”

“Who the hell are you?” The extremely rusty voice surprised him. It was his. Something about that felt important. “What happened, where am I?” 

“You are Jason Todd,” a stern man said primly. “And I am R’as al Ghul, an acquaintance of your previous mentor. We are at the Lazarus Pits.” 

The pounding got louder and he--Jason--clenched his fists, ready to kill someone to make the heartbeat sto--

Heartbeat. It was his heartbeat. 

The heartbeat he shouldn’t have. 

A rush of memories assaulted his brain; a crowbar descending, unhinged laughter, an explosion, but most of all, pain. Pain and fear. 

This wasn't right. His hands sank into his hair, ready to pull it out as he stumbled backwards, unable to process everything. He was dead--or he should be. He wanted to still be dead. 

The man, Ra’s, advanced, speaking calmly and slowly, like Jason was a wild animal. “If you would follow me, we can--”

Jason rushed the man with a strangled cry, bludgeoning the man with his fists, elbows, feet, fighting however he could. He heard a few distinct snaps, but he didn’t stop until the man was a bloody mess at his feet. 

He still quivered with rage, his entire body feeling like it was about to explode. 

“You should have left me dead,” he growled before barrelling through the mass of people that moved to surround him. His feet carried him out of the cave he had been in and out into the night that waited. After being dead, apparently even starlight was a little bright for his eyes--if it had been daylight, he might have just gone blind right then. 

Something inside him dictated where his feet carried him. He felt a distinct pull to… something. It felt important, so Jason began trudging along. 

**************

“I think that’s the last box, sweetie,” Sabine said, following her husband in. 

“Thank you guys for helping so much, it really means a lot,” Marinette said with a smile to her parents. 

Tom set the box down carefully, eyes already filled with tears. “I can’t believe my little girl has a place of her own. It seems like just yesterday I was teaching her to make macarons for the first time.” 

“Oh, don’t you start crying, Tom, or I’ll start crying too,” Sabine said, swatting her husband with a sniff. 

In a few short weeks Marinette would be starting her studies at the best fashion program in all of Europe. Like many of her classmates, she was staying in Paris for at least the near future. She had originally planned on staying at her parents’ house for at least the first year of the program, but the perfect opportunity presented itself, and Marinette just couldn’t say no. 

Marinette’s beloved grandmother, Gina, had decided to bike around the world. This was pretty much how she spent her life anyway, but now her granddaughter was legally an adult, which meant she could grant said granddaughter some much needed freedom. 

Despite how little time Gina actually spent in Paris, she was the proud owner of an adorable little house. She had already willed the house over to her fairy, but now she could tell Marinette to move in under the pretense of having her house-sit. Gina paid for the utilities still, and her only stipulation was that Marinette had to keep a room clean and ready for her, should Gina show up unexpectedly. 

The thought of having her own house, free of charge, even, was mind-boggling, but at the same time it was everything Marinette hadn’t known she needed. There was the natural yearning all young adults had to try things on their own, but this solutions came with the ultimate safety net. Even more importantly, it came with the privacy that she desperately needed. 

While she waited for her program to begin, Marinette had spent the majority of her time at the bakery. It was fun, being with her parents and taking care of deliveries whenever Luka had a gig. It also made keeping a secret identity secret nearly impossible. This way Marinette was still close enough to help at the bakery when she needed to, but her parents weren’t constantly barging in at inopportune moments. 

As they set up, somehow her things fit in perfectly alongside Gina’s like it was meant to be. The last thing the family had to do was go grocery shopping so Marinette had something to eat other than the copious amounts of pastries her parents had forced on her. 

When the deed was done, it was time for her parents to leave, even though none of them were really quite ready for that. 

“You’re not used to being alone,” Sabine fussed. “Are you sure you don’t want to spend just one more night at home?” 

“Or we could spend the night here with you,” Tom said hopefully. 

“No, I’ll be fine,” Marinette said with a smile. “I’ll be sad, but we’ve got to start somewhere, right?” 

Staring at his daughter, Tom couldn’t hold it in any longer-- he started crying. “Don’t forget to call us, sweetheart, and write too! We’ll be waiting to hear from you.” 

“Tom, she’s moving twelve blocks away. If she doesn’t have time to visit us, we can just pop in on her, right?” 

“Right,” Marinette confirmed, eyes completely dry. “I’ll make sure to visit often.”

Finally she was able to bid farewell to her parents, closing the door to her house behind them. She milled around looking for something to do, finally settling on turning the TV on for background noise and getting to work on her latest commision. 

Just as she was getting into the groove and making real progress, Marinette’s phone rang. She sighed, finishing the last little bit of handwork on that section before answering the video call. 

“My little Marinetta, how are you?” Gina asked. As far as Marinette could tell, her grandmother was somewhere tropical at the moment. Where exactly was anyone’s guess. 

“Good, Nona, just getting settled in!” 

“Are you just sitting around at home?” she asked suspiciously. 

“No, I’m working on a commission and--”

“I didn’t leave you the house to just sit around, my fairy. You need to be young and free, even if it’s only occasionally. This is your first place of your own, so go celebrate! Go out to dinner, go get ice cream, find a party to go to, I don’t care, just go do something!” Gina commanded. 

“Yes, Nona,” Marinette said, knowing it was useless to resist. 

“I’ll be waiting to see a picture of whatever you do,” Gina said firmly. 

“Yes, Nona.” 

Gina kept chatting for a while longer, but before she hung up, she reminded Marinette one more time that she needed to go celebrate somehow. Afterwards Marinette attempted to keep working on her commision, but it was fruitless knowing that her Nona expected her to go have fun. 

Even though they had just bought groceries, Marinette didn’t really feel like cooking after all the day’s activities, so she decided to walk over to one of her favorite cafes. It was a ways away, but she didn’t have much else to do with her time, so she decided to simply enjoy the weather. She ate a light dinner at one of the outside tables, made sure to send a picture of it to Nona, and once she was finished, she swung by one of the nearby farmer’s markets on impulse. Yes, she had the groceries she had gotten earlier, but no grocery store could beat fresh produce like this. 

The farmer’s market was closing soon, which meant that a good majority of the things that were high in demand were already sold out. There was one vendor that had one frozen chicken that she really didn’t want to take back home, so Marinette got a really good price on it.

It was nearing dusk as she made her way back to the house, but she couldn’t help but feel uneasy. There was something in the air that just felt wrong. It was kind of similar to the feeling she got from akumas, but also not. It was familiar, but twisted, corrupted inextricably. As she walked the feeling only got worse, and Marinette didn’t know if she should go find out what it was, or if she should just run away as fast as she could.

In the end, the urge to investigate won out. She was Ladybug, it was her responsibility to see to the safety of Paris as a whole. On edge from the unsettling feeling, Marinette moved through the streets discreetly and carefully. 

Her instincts took her to the opening of an alleyway in a fairly quiet part of town. The feeling of wrongness was pervasive as she edged forward. It took everything in her not to gasp at what she saw. 

A boy who looked about her age stood at the back of the alley was surrounded by three cloaked assailants. He could almost be mistaken for an akuma because he didn’t actually wear clothes, he was only covered by ragged bandages, almost like a mummy. The poor boy was gaunt, he looked like he was only a few steps away from death. He couldn’t be an akuma, because in all this time, Marinette had never seen one so feral. 

“I have to help him,” Marinette whispered, hand tightening on the handle of the bag her chicken was in. “Tikki, spo-”

“No Marinette!” Tikki hissed waving her arms frantically. “Don’t transform. We should leave, this is dangerous.” 

“What are you talking about, Tikki? That boy clearly needs help.” Marinette’s claim was only emphasized when one of the assailants drew a sword-- and actual sword being used by someone who was not akumatized. 

“If you transform he’ll hurt you! We really should leave,” Tikki said, trying to pull her away. “I’ll explain at home, but we need to leave.” 

Something about the boy was deeply unnerving to Marinette. His very existence felt wrong. But something about this made her think of Robin, who she hadn’t allowed herself to think about for quite some time now. 

“No,” she said with steel in her voice. “I’m not abandoning someone who is scared and alone.”

“Marinette, you’ll get hurt!” 

“Not if I’m lucky,” the girl said with a smile that held far too much venom. 

The boy was already faltering when Marinette entered the alleyway. His eyes latched onto her for the briefest of moments, but that only caused for one of the assailants to get even closer, knife grazing the boy’s arm. 

Years of being Ladybug had taught Marinette to move nearly silently, as well as where to hit to take down an opponent quickly. The first man was taken down by sheer luck--she somehow managed to hit the pressure point at the juncture of his neck despite being hooded. He fell down, immediately unconscious from her assault. The one who didn’t have a knife in hand glanced over, only to be met face first with a swinging frozen chicken. 

By the time the third man turned to see her, the chicken was already swinging to knock the knife out of the man’s hand, potentially breaking some fingers as it swung. Marinette had already cracked the man across the face before the knife had clattered to the ground, leaving only her and the boy conscious in the alleyway. 

He looked at her with crazed blue eyes, his pupils blown as he fixated on her. “You!” he snarled, leaping forward. “You had something to do with this!”

“No, I just wanted to help, let me--”

Before Marinette had to do anything in the way of restraining him, the strange boy staggered forward a few unsteady steps before collapsing right onto her. She hadn’t noticed the way that he towered over her before, but supporting his entire body weight helped her realize just how absurdly large this boy was. With that in mind, she should probably stop mentally referring to him as a boy. 

“Marinette, this is really dangerous. He could hurt you, he already tried to!” Tikki said, once again trying to pull her away. 

“Tikki, he needs my help,” Marinette said, stubbornly shouldering the boy. “I’ll keep myself safe, but I won’t leave him here!” 

“You promise you’ll do everything you can to keep yourself safe?” Tikki asked, eyes baring into Marinette’s soul. 

“I swear.” 

“Fine,” Tikki sighed, wilting a bit. “Go ahead and transform, it will be easier and faster to carry everything that way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned, this is just going to be me ranting about Batman lore for far too long. 
> 
> Okay, so even in AUs like this that are clearly distanced from canon, I like to research and make it as close to canon as possible. For those of you that don’t know, doing research on anything related to Batman is a MESS. I’ve read “Death in the Family,” the original Batman issue where Jason dies, I’ve watched “Under the Red Hood,” just because I wanted to get a really good sense of Jason and what the whole alive again experience was like for him. I also looked into the Lazarus Pits for placement questions, and apparently there are little Lazarus pits all over the world, including in Switzerland. Switzerland is close enough to France that I just went with it. 
> 
> Now for the part that REALLY kills me. I recently also watched Son of Batman, and in it, Ra’s is killed, but apparently he was too dead for the Lazarus Pits to work. However, upon looking into Jason, it is revealed that he was brought back to life after being dead for a few YEARS. I’m not even going to go into the fact that Jason’s body was complete even though he died not by crowbar, but by an explosion. I’m not touching that. Additionally, Jason was still really short and pretty scrawny from being malnourished when he died, and he somehow comes back as a beefy twenty-something year old. 
> 
> TLDR; the Batman canon is a mess, so when writing fanfiction I can do what I want and it’s still canon compliant.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!


	3. Chapter 3

Somehow Marinette made it back to the house without causing mass panic or dropping the boy. Once at home she dragged him onto the couch and detransformed, rushing for a First Aid kit before he bled out. 

Tikki sought out a cookie while Marinette unwound the dirty bandages on the boy, doing her best to wipe away the blood and grime. He had wounds both new and older, but to her relief none of them were too serious, nothing that couldn’t be handled with some disinfectant and gauze. Marinette cleaned him up as much as possible, and before long the kwamis swarmed Marinette to get clothes on the boy. 

“He’s malnourished and dehydrated,” Wayzz said, surveying the boy. “How did he get so far from one of the Lazarus Pits so soon?” 

“The Lazarus Pits? What are those?” 

“You didn’t tell her, Tikki?” Trixx demanded. “She’s the Guardian, she needs to know these things!” 

“But I haven’t been Guardian for very long, especially compared to Master Fu,” Marinette said gently. “There are lots of things that haven’t come up yet. But will someone please explain?” 

It was obvious that the boy wouldn’t wake for a while, so Marinette felt fine having the kwamis out and about, especially when it meant there were more eyes on him. She hoped she would be able to avoid taking him to the hospital, because it would just be a mess all around. 

Tikki sighed, settling into her palm. “The Lazarus Pits were a result of a wish made with both the Ladybug and the Black Cat Miraculous gems. It was a long, long time ago when a man lost the woman he loved. When he found out about the Miraculous, he was relentless in his search, and he even killed that Ladybug to steal the earrings. 

“He wished for his love to be brought back to life, but the world hadn’t recovered from the last Miraculous wish yet. This one ended differently than most. The Lazarus Pits were scattered all over the world, pools of water that could heal people, and in some cases even bring them back to life. Since the world was still recovering from a previous wish, the price was paid by the individuals who use the pits. I was weak from my Ladybug being killed, and so the power of destruction was a lot stronger than the power of creation. All of my energy was used for the healing aspect, but Plagg’s surplus energy had to go somewhere.”  
\  
“Tikki, what does that mean?” Marinette asked, growing more and more concerned. 

“The person being healed has to pay the price, usually with their humanity. People react differently to the pits. Some find evil and greed growing in their hearts. Others go insane from the transition from death to life, while a few are filled with overwhelming anger and a need to destroy. No matter what, Marinette, it’s especially dangerous for you! He’ll be able to sense your connection to all the kwamis, but especially me. You and Chat Noir aren’t safe as long as he’s in Paris. We need to take him somewhere.” 

“Can it be reversed?” Marinette asked. 

“What?”

“You said he was seriously hurt--”

Tikki shook her head solemnly. “Marinette, based on the amount of energy I feel on him, he was dead, probably for a few years.” 

“What?!” Marinette couldn’t help but stare at the once-dead boy who was currently passed out on her couch. “He was dead?”

“It’s true. And because he was dead, Marinette, means that there’s going to be almost none of his humanity left.” 

“You said almost. That means there’s some left to foster,” Marinette said slowly. 

“Marinette, no. You can’t put yourself at risk like this.” 

“He didn’t choose any of this. It’s not fair that he has to live a life of pain and anger alone. How do I help him?” 

Tikki blinked, some of the panic and tension draining from her small body. “You’re right, I’m sorry Marinette. You’re my strongest Ladybug yet, and the Guardian, so we can’t lose you. But it also means that if anyone can help him, it’s you. None of this was his fault. I… I need to talk to Plagg. We can probably come up with something together.” 

Marinette watched her kwami fly away, a ghost of an emotion rearing its head when she wondered if this would be easier with the Book of Miracles. But it was easily squashed down. It was habit at this point, and Marinette had things to do.

The boy was concerningly pale. It seemed like his bleeding had slowed if not stopped completely, but he needed nutrients. She’d learned to prepare for all kinds of things in her years as Ladybug, so she’d make do with whatever the situation may be. 

For now she settled for making chicken rice soup, chopping everything small enough to reduce the chance of choking. She couldn’t help but wonder about him -- who was he? How had he died?

She had added the last of the ingredients and left the soup to simmer when she heard a scuffle in the living room. Concerned, Marinette went to investigate. There wasn’t a single kwami in sight, and the boy had an umbrella grasped in his hands like a weapon, stationed at the corner of the room, poised to attack. 

His eyes were… unsettling. If Marinette hadn’t known about the Lazarus Pits, she would have worried that he was an akuma -- the were a toxic green, the same color as Plagg’s and Chat’s. But the entire eye was this color, the whites, the irises, and the pupils. 

His knuckles were white from clutching the umbrella too hard, and if Marinette had to describe his facial expression, she would have said feral. When those unnatural eyes turned on her she could feel the loathing, the hatred that emanated from this boy. 

Seeing him awake like this, Marinette could definitely feel a connection to him. Miraculous magic had definitely touched him, but it was tainted, twisted, even more sinister than Hawkmoth’s akumas. 

Lunging forward with a snarl, the boy moved to attack her, bringing the umbrella down in a vicious arc. Even with the reflexes she’d developed from her years of being Ladybug, Marinette was only barely able to dodge the attack, narrowly twisting out of the way, the umbrella crashing into the coffee table instead. 

The umbrella was a mess of broken wires and torn fabric. Marinette had to dodge the jagged bits of metal swinging towards her. She was fully aware that Tikki would have killed her for sticking around to see how she could help the boy. Logically she should have run away and called the police already. 

But Tikki wasn’t here right now and whoever this kid was, he needed help. Was that -- year, he had reopened at least one of his wounds, based on the blood on his bandages. 

“My name is Marinette,” she said, slowly and softly, the same voice reserved for wild animals and child akumas. “I just want to help you.”

He stared at her as she approached, taking a step back. She continued, “I found you bleeding in an alleyway, and you’re still hurt. Let me help you, please. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” 

On instinct, Marinette took a step forward. It should have proved to be a mistake when the boy lunged forward, snarling. He was really out for blood this time, but Marinette was prepared. When he first reached out, her hand darted out, catching his wrist. 

She was ready to wrench the appendage behind his back to subdue him, but it wasn’t necessary. At the contact of skin on skin, he stilled completely, eyes vacant as the toxic green faded from them, revealing a clear, stunning blue. Marinette couldn’t help when her breath caught. 

“Wha - Who are you? Where am I?” the boy asked in distressed English. He stumbled a step or two forward, nearly collapsing on the ground.

Marinette barely caught him, but she’d been bearing his weight since the moment she’d found him. Maneuvering him onto the couch was child’s play. 

“My name is Marinette,” she said, hoping her accent wasn’t too strong. It had been a while since she’d practiced her English. “I found you bleeding in an alleyway, so I brought you here to try and help you heal up. How are you feeling?” 

“A little like I got the crap beat out of me by a bunch of thugs,” the boy said with the barest suggestion of a smile. “And not to sound ungrateful, sweetheart, but why on earth would you bring me here instead of a hospital?” 

She closed her eyes for a few moments, seemingly deliberating on what to say. “I know this sounds crazy, but I had a hunch that this would be better. I really can’t tell you more than that. But how are you feeling? Why were you in that alleyway?” 

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, and his brain was obviously sorting through optional responses. Finally he simply said, “I don’t remember.” 

It was very obviously a lie, but Marinette took the response without question. She couldn’t share a lot of things with him, it was only fair to allow him secrets of his own.

“What should I call you then?” Marinette asked in response.

“You mean I’m staying?!”

Marinette blinked. “I can’t kick you out! You’re wounded and lost in Paris without your memory! I couldn’t just kick you out!” 

“Wait, I’m in Paris?!” the boy asked, totally blown away. “Like, Paris, France?!” 

“Yes?” Marinette pulled open a curtain, pointing to the barely visible Eiffel Tower that peeked over the nearby buildings. “So, any ideas about what I should call you? I can always make something up, but I’m told that I’m not the best with names.” 

“Just call me Jay,” the boy said, barely suppressing a yawn. “Jay will be fine.” 

“Don’t go to sleep just yet, you need some nutrients in you, Jay,” Marinette said, rising to retrieve a bowl of soup. 

While Marinette carefully fed the boy soup, spoonful by spoonful, unbeknownst to them their every move was watched by a group of kwamis. 

“Are you sure we can’t tell her, Plagg?” Tikki asked, eyes fixated on her holder. 

“He’s got a lot of destructive energy running through his body right now,” Plagg said, uncharacteristically serious. “I’m impressed at how quickly he recovered from this bout of destruction, this kid has a history with controlling his anger. But we need to find something to replace that anger, or it will get worse and worse until nothing is left of the kid.” 

“And what do we replace the anger with?” Pollen asked.

“The destruction is affecting his mind and his emotions, so he needs to create new positive emotions and relationships,” Tikki said defeatedly. “She just has to wait out those fits of rage, even though they’re directed at her.” 

“Lighten up, Sugar Cube,” Plagg said. “He calmed down when she touched him. That means he already trusts her, even though he can feel the Miraculous on her.” 

“Besides, they already kind of know each other,” Trixx pointed out. 

“What?” multiple voices chorused. 

“I’m the kwami of illusion, which means that I can see through disguises and stuff,” Trixx explained. “That boy is the one from three years ago, Marinette’s Robin that died! That kind of explains why she was able to calm him so quickly.” 

“So… what do we tell Marinette?” Kaalki asked. 

“For the boy to truly be healed, Marinette’s actions have to be genuine, with no ulterior motives, however well-intended,” Wayzz said gravely. “I’m afraid we cannot tell her anything. But fear not, Marinette has never let us down before.” 

Murmuring hesitant assent, the majority of the kwamis retreated. Tikki though, couldn’t pull herself away. 

Plagg sighed. “It will work out, Sugar Cube. Besides, when he died, a part of Marinette got locked away as well. This might be what finally brings her back to us.” 

“I hope you’re right,” Tikki said, eyes lingering on her holder. “Because if this ends badly, I don’t think Marinette will ever be the same again.”


	4. Chapter 4

Jay’s fever didn’t come down all throughout the night. Marinette stayed by his side the entire time, medicating and cooling him down as much as she could. 

It got bad enough that Marinette considered taking him to the hospital, and she was about to go through with it when his eyes started glowing green again. 

“Tikki, where are you?” Marinette called, getting more frantic by the moment. 

“I’m here!” The kwami rushed into the room, looking almost as agitated as her holder. 

“Did you talk to Plagg? What do we do?” she asked, acutely aware of every movement and moan that came from the couch. 

“We’re still figuring things out,” Tikki said. “For the time being, we just need to wait this out. We don’t want to make things worse.” 

Marinette watched Jay’s thrashing with increasing concern. “I don’t… I feel really out of my depth, Tikki. I don’t know at all how I could help him.” 

“A lot of this we probably can’t do anything except wait things out.” 

Jay lurched into an upright position, body tense with contrived anger. Tikki shuddered from the killing aura he emanated. “Marinette, he’s going to hurt someone or himself.” 

“I’ll do what I can to help him,” she said determinately, exuding false confidence. “After all, I’m Ladybug. I-”

It was a sentence never to be finished, however, as Jay launched himself at Marinette, his mindless movements brutal and unforgiving, although thankfully uncoordinated. She couldn’t do anything but dodge his initial heavy blows, leaving the furniture and the decor to suffer from his fists. This went on for a few minutes, Marinette and Jay weaving around each other in a destructive dance. She watched him like a hawk, and the moment she found an opening, she struck, pinning him. 

After being Ladybug for this long, Marinette had taken a wide variety of self-defense classes, including all manner of grappling techniques with Nora. Without his mental faculties, it was child’s play to transition into a different hold, one that Jay wouldn’t be able to break out of in his current malnourished and frenzied state. 

He found valiantly against her, but the fight just… bled out of him the longer they were in contact. The longer they were in contact with each other, the more Marinette felt ill. It was stronger now than when she had first found him; it almost felt like the aura of a particularly powerful akuma, but even darker, more twisted. The most unsettling part of it all was that it was shockingly familiar - she could feel Tikki and Plagg’s power at work here, she could feel what she had the power to become if she ever went that far. 

The miasma slowly but surely cleared from the room, and with it went Marinette’s strength. She was more exhausted than she had been even after the worst akuma. But even as the fight slowly died down, she clung to Jay, murmuring nonsense in his ear. She honestly couldn’t remember what language she was speaking at the moment, but she murmured, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t know who you were, but there’s something familiar about you. I know we don’t know each other at all, but somehow I feel like you’re trustworthy.” 

As she spoke, she could feel even more of her energy draining out. Her grip slackened as her eyes fluttered closed. Almost unaware it was leaving her lips, she said, “I’ll keep you safe, whatever it takes.” 

A few hours passed like this, the two exhausted from the weight of the magic they’d had to endure. None but the kwami bore witness to the event, many of them flitting about, torn between rejoicing and anxiety. 

“Where do we go from here?” Barkk asked, wringing his paws. 

“We still have to let things play out on their own,” Trixx said, crossing her arms. 

“You’d think with all of the powers we have, we could have done more,” Mullo said sadly. 

“Is he really who we’re shipping her with? Are we sure Chat Noir is out of the question?” Kaalki asked. When the others just looked at the horse kwami, she sighed. “Fine. At least he’s kind of famous, or he used to be.” 

“Hide, he’s waking up,” Wayzz warned, urging the other kwamii towards the Miracle Box. 

For the second time in Jason’s new life, he woke up completely disoriented. He’d been slowly growing accustomed to having a heartbeat again, but the assault on his senses was still a lot to handle. 

At first he didn’t have any clue where he was. The room was a complete disaster, things broken and flung about this way and that. Jason had seen murder scenes that were less devastated than this. 

When he clenched his fist, he almost gasped at the tiny stabbing pains from his hand being very asleep. Glancing over, Jason almost choked when he found a small Asian girl asleep on his arm. 

Seeing the girl, a whole host of emotions and memories flooded him. He had done this, he had ruined this house the same way he seemed to ruin everything. He had ruined Dick’s relationship with Bruce, and he had ruined his own relationship with Bruce right before he’d died. 

His memories also recalled Marinette telling him something before he’d fallen unconscious. If his high school French skills weren’t failing him, she trusted him. 

Marinette was clearly too good. Not even Jason Todd was messed up enough to take advantage of the angel that was too good for this world. He couldn’t do anything but hurt her even worse, and he refused to ruin her like he had everything else. It would be best to extricate himself now. 

Somehow he removed himself from her without waking her, slipping out of the house with as little noise as possible. It was barely sunrise at this point, but even then, the light was almost too much for his eyes. Apparently his temporary stint with death had left him with some weird side effects. 

The few citizens that did mill about looked at him a little strangely, but that was the extent of the reaction he elicited. It was a reaction he would have expected in Gotham. A part of Jason wondered what could possibly have caused such a reaction. 

Hawkmoth his mind whispered to him. Like a lightning bolt, a series of memories flashed through his mind. 

He had likely forgotten about all of this because of, surprise surprise, being dead, but that didn’t make him feel less terrible about it. Memories of a teenaged Ladybug nearly brought him to his knees. If this was how the citizens reacted to a strange presence like his own, it probably meant that Hawkmoth was still at large. 

It didn’t feel like Jason had been brought back to life for any particular reason other than Ra’as playing mind games with Bruce. More than that, it felt like a cruel joke of fate. That didn’t stop his strange pull to Paris. He would make use of this, though. NOw that the oppressive anger had lightened up, he gave himself a purpose. He would direct that anger, he would find Hawkmoth, and he would take care of him, one way or another. He would plague Hawkmoth and his akumas until he brought the man to his knees. 

He more than anyone knew that Ladybug was doing everything she could. But she doubtlessly valued protecting the citizens over anything else. Jason had no such qualms, meaning he could do the things Ladybug couldn’t -- and shouldn’t have to do. 

Watch out, Paris. Red Hood had arrived.


	5. Chapter 5

He was gone. Marinette wasn’t sure how or when, but when she woke up, Jay was gone, the destroyed house standing as the only evidence that he had actually been there.

She didn’t know what she had expected from the situation. Logically, Marinette knew that Jay couldn’t have stayed long-term. It didn’t make sense, it’s not like she could have let him stay on her couch for the rest of their lives. She couldn’t help but worry though. He wasn’t recovered, not by a long shot. She would be thinking and worrying about him for potentially the rest of her life. 

Even more, though, Marinette burned with questions that now would likely never be answered about him. After Robin had died, Marinette had lost much of her curiosity. She didn’t feel the need to know what her friends were up to at any given time, and sometimes she struggled to stay engaged in their lives. She loved them, she just didn’t have much left to give. 

But with Jay, Marinette was feeling the sparks of that same… nosiness, that same curiosity that she could have sworn died with Robin. But for some unidentifiable, irrational reason, she also trusted him innately. Something deep in her whispered that he was someone important to her, and he needed help. He needed help, but he ran away before she could give it to him. 

The kwamii gave her some space to come to terms with things before she forced herself to her feet. Cleaning up the house, Marinette methodically separated the damaged things into piles of things to be repaired later, and things that would simply be replaced. She likely could have used the Miraculous Cure, but at the moment she needed the mindless action to ground her. 

It took the majority of the morning and the early afternoon to clean up the room. She should have used the rest of her day working on her commissions, but they would have to wait a while longer. She was fairly sure she couldn’t handle anything that took considerable mental exertion. 

By some act of mercy, there were no akuma attacks that night. Marinette spent the time trying to bury the emotions that Jay had brought with him. 

It wasn’t working well. 

The next morning, her reprieve was over. She was woken bright and early by an akuma alarm. After so many years, it was routine at this point, and she rushed out to take care of things. 

Marinette should have been able to handle it with no problem. She had dealt with more difficult akuma alone, it was a simple case of indignation over the shortcomings of the mailing system. This was one of the most visually distressing akumas yet, and whenever she ended up finding Hawkmoth, she would definitely inform him that envelopes and stamps were not acceptable clothing material. Once she stripped him of his Miraculous, of course. 

After a particularly nasty collision with a mailbox, Marinette found herself whisked away by Chat Noir. “Are you okay, M’Lady?” 

“Sorry Kitty, I’m a little stuck in my head today.” Ladybug shook her arms out, hoping she would loosen up. “I’ll be okay now.” 

“Are you sure?” Chat Noir looked more concerned about her than he had in years. “I can handle this one alone as long as you purify it.” 

“No, we’re partners.” She shoved herself to her feet. “Let’s go save Paris.”

She could see that his doubt and concern lingered, but he smiled anyway, holding out a hand. “Shall we?” 

“Absolutely. Let’s do this.” 

As she was steeling herself to face the akuma once more, she and Chat Noir were startled by the foreign sound of a gunshot. In that moment she was finally able to push away her lingering emotions, because someone had decided to bring a gun to an akuma fight. 

She and Chat Noir rushed to where they had left the flurry of miscellaneous postage items to find the akuma clutching a shoulder, shocked. “He asked me questions about Hawkmoth, and when I didn’t have answers he shot me!”

The two heroes exchanged looks. They’d seen their share of vigilantism in Paris, but none to this degree. It was concerning, to say the least, but they didn’t have the time at the moment to track him down, and there was no trace of the man. It made more sense for them to prepare and gather what information they could. For now, there was an akuma to purify - and a civilian to heal. Thank goodness for the Miraculous Cure.

The customary swarm of ladybugs was new for Jason. A few blocks away he watched everything that was going on from behind a dumpster. Ladybug and Chat Noir really were no joke, even with whatever had been going on with Ladybug earlier.

He didn’t know how he felt about akuma. It was unsettling how easily controlled these people were. If it was truly based off of emotions, then Jason was a ticking time bomb with the anger that only seemed to get worse every hour since he’d left Marinette. He hoped she was safe and happy, and-

No! It had only been a few hours, and here he was ruminating on the Parisian saint. He didn’t have time for this, he had things to see to, like getting an actual vigilante costume. 

Bruce, being Bruce, had supply houses all around the world, including one in Paris. Jason had visited to get a fw guns, a good deal of money, and some food, but the only vigilante clothing options were either the original Robin suit (which was tiny and also awful) and a batsuit (which was a definite no). 

It was definitely time to make a name for himself now. That meant he needed a look to match. Pulling off the paper bag he’d been using to conceal his identity, Jason ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to look as professional as possible while wearing the pajamas Marinette had given him. He probably should have made finding shoes a priority, but it was too late now. 

His destination was a tailor’s shop that advertised custom jobs for reasonable prices. If they couldn’t do itk, they might know who could. The secretary was clearly judging him from the moment he stepped in, but Jason couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

He looked down at his hand, where he’d scribbled some French phrases. “Bonjour,” he said, before going on to massacre every syllable that followed. 

Unimpressed, the secretary said, “I can speak English. What do you want from me, American?” 

“I’d like to commission a few bulletproof pieces, if you can do that.” 

The secretary gave a long, weary sigh. “‘Zis is a store for custom suits and tuxedos. We do not make anything bulletproof.”

“Have you considered it? It sounds quite lucrative to me.” 

This time, the secretary simply pretended she didn’t hear him. “Check with a freelance designer, they would likely be closer to what you want. This one is fairly talented, and she likes a challenge. You can send a mail order form with specifications of what you want, or you can do it through her website. Now begone, we have work to do.” 

Jason accepted the business card the woman offered before allowing himself to be ushered out of the store.Outside, he checked out the card. It was simple, elegant with a dash of pink thrown in. He didn’t know who this MDC was, but it was worth talking to her, at the very least.


	6. Chapter 6

When Alya opened the door, she was alarmed to hear a gross sobbing from the guest bedroom. Dropping her bags, she rushed back. “Marinette, you okay girl?” 

Marinette emerged, hands shaking, holding a packet of papers. “Alya, it’s terrible,” she sobbed, flinging her arms around her best friend.” 

“Are you okay? What happened, are you hurt?” Alya asked, pulling back to check her friend over. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine. This is what’s wrong,” she said, violently shaking the packet of papers. “It was mailed to my MDC mailbox with no return address and enough money to pay for five normal commissions.” 

“That’s… definitely strange,” Alya said slowly.

“That means I can’t deny the request!” Marinette wailed. “Just look at it!” 

Alya carefully took the paper Marinette thrust at her. On it was a crudely sketched design with broken French describing certain specifications. “...Wow.” 

“It’s hideous,” Marinette moaned. “And it’s supposed to be bulletproof! I’ve never worked with bulletproof material before, I don’t even know if my sewing machine can handle bulletproof material.” 

“How is he supposed to get his order if there’s no return address?” Alya asked. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the design. Was that supposed to be a helmet? It looked like a pill capsule, and the suit… It was enough to put most akuma to shame. 

“I’m supposed to ‘stuff them behind the second trash can on the west side of the Louvre,’” Marinette read from another paper. “Who would even think of that? And I can’t just stuff the refusal there, what if someone saw and stole the money? At least no one would actually want that abomination. And I can’t deny a commission just because it’s hideous and weird, it’s unethical.” 

Alya definitely felt for Marinette, but this was somehow… refreshing. She felt like she hadn’t seen this marinette for a few years. The frantic overreactions were something she hadn’t seen since high school, and it was strangely nostalgic. 

“Well, I guess that answers my question of why you would need this much kevlar,” Alya said with a smile. She deliberated a few moments - this was usually when she took her leave, and she did have plans with Nino that night, but…

“If I make it a little slimmer here, he might not notice, and it would be less likely to make children cry…” Marinette murmured, sketching out her own version of the commission. 

That cemented her resolve. Alya sent Nino a quick text, cancelling their plans for that night - they could go to the movies any night. 

“Hey girl, mind if I hang around tonight? Nino and I had to rain check our plans tonight, and it’s been too long since we’ve hung out together.” 

Marinette finally looked up from her sketching. Blinking a few times, she said, “Oh, yeah! That sounds like fun! I should probably take a break anyway.” 

If she hadn’t been sure before, now Alya knew she had at least some piece of her best friend back. There was a light in Marinette’s eyes that had been missing for a while. A thought popped into her head and Alya bit her lip, unsure if she should press her luck. Shaking her head, she decided to go for it. 

“By the way, Marinette, I was thinking about getting everyone together on Friday for a movie night or something. Are you in?” 

“That sounds great, just text me the details!” Marinette said brightly, heading to the kitchen. “Does quiche sound good to you? It’s what I was planning to make, but I can always do something else.” 

“Quiche sounds great!” Alya said, distracted by her furious texting.

Alya: Everyone clear your schedules, we’re getting together on Friday. It’s mandatory. 

Rose: I’m free! What are we doing?

Alix: I have plans already.

Alya: CANCELLED

Adrien: I also have a photoshoot, and I have no idea how long it will take.

Alya: I will personally make sure it ends on time if I have to. Marinette agreed to get out and do something with us.

Kim: NO

Max: What?!

Alix: WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THAT?!

Luka: Jagged can find a different guitarist for a night. Actually, Jagged might try to come himself. 

Nino: I don’t know how you did it babe, but cancel as many dates as you need to. 

Mylene: Ivan and I can come home for a weekend. 

Alya was pulled away from the group chat by Marinette saying something. “What was that, girl? I didn’t hear you.” 

“I was asking what you wanted in the quiche,” she repeated, poking her head out of the kitchen.

“Oh, whatever sounds good to you. You’ve never made anything I didn’t like.” 

She hadn’t known how much she missed it, but lightheartedly laughing with Marinette made Alya feel like she had come home again.

“So tell me girl, did something good happen to you?” Alya finally asked. 

Marinette paused. “What do you mean?” 

“Be real with me, Marinette. You haven’t been yourself for a while. We didn’t want to pry, especially since Hawkmoth is kind of wearing everyone down. Did something good happen?” 

“Oh, I hadn’t realized I’d been acting so differently.” 

“Are you serious, Marinette? You skipped out on everything you possibly could, have just to stay at home and work on commissions. We didn’t want to push the issue, so we gave you space. It just ended up lasting a few years,” Alya said, patting her hand. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, then or now, I was just curious.” 

“I… I met someone,” she said hesitantly. “I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not like that. There wasn’t a chance for it to be like that.” 

“Then what was it?” 

“He was lost, in more ways than one.” Marinette had a faraway look in her eyes, and an slight smile graced her lips. “I felt like I knew him, even though that’s impossible. Even though he was only here for a couple days, it somehow reminded me that I’m alive, and that it should be a wonderful thing.” 

Alya couldn’t hold herself back from embracing her best friend, her arms nearly a vice. After a few moments, she couldn’t help but giggle to herself. “Well, you rediscovered your enthusiasm for life just in time to make the most hideous outfit in history. Are you sure he wasn’t one of the Greek muses?”

“Not if he sent me this!” 

A few miles away, Jason sneezed. It was getting colder outside, but he refused to go stay in Bruce’s safehouse. It was probably petty, but Jason refused to act like he was Bruce’s child anymore, not with the way things had ended. So he was in and out like a thief in the night, stealing what he needed and leaving the connection to Bruce behind.

Jason wasn’t sure what to do. Uncertainty and anger churned in his stomach, and little else. He found himself lurking on the fringes of society. Whether it was to save the civilians or himself, he had no idea. The anger he felt, it scared him. When he’d woken up, he’d been its slave, a mindless vessel for rage. Now he was fully conscious, but he felt unstable, like it might overwhelm him at any moment.

Collapsing in a dirty alleyway, Jason curled in on himself. He was scared. How was he alive? Why was he alive? Could he even say he was still Jason Todd? He felt inhuman, and distanced from himself. 

It had only been a few days, but Marinette felt like a passing dream that had never been his in the first place. Anger, only anger burned within him. So far he’d done his best to direct that anger, but he didn’t know how long that would hold out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait everyone, my professors have decided we’re capable of doing twice the amount of work than we usually do. I hope everyone’s doing well, and I hope you enjoy the latest chapter! Let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

Five years ago Jason would have said he felt like death. Now Jason would have welcomed death with open arms if he thought Ra’as wouldn’t just track his body down and resurrect him again, even more broken the second time around. 

Also, saying that you felt like death usually implied that someone was listening, which definitely was not the case. He felt like a ghost in a number of ways, a specter trapped between heaven and hell, desperate for someone to notice him, confirm that he existed. But the feeling of emptiness, of invisibility was put aside in the name of anger. After all, anger reigned supreme in his mind. 

As each day passed, thoughts of Marinette slowly faded. It couldn't have been more than a week since he’d left her house, but the memories felt years old, a fleeting moment of light that could never have been permanent. It was almost easier that way, so he couldn’t reflect on how badly he’d messed up. 

Not that Jason had any time to reflect. Each day without Marinette meant that the anger was becoming stronger and more frequent. He found himself blacking out for large chunks of time, and when he woke up he would wake up in the Red Hood mask, covered in blood that wasn’t his. 

A part of him didn’t know why he even bothered with the costume - he was already a monster, no one could deny it. Part his reasoning for the costume was simply habit from his days as Robin, but a large part of his motivation was the thought of Marinette stumbling across him in the street. Just imagining the look of horror on her face was enough to shatter what little sense of self he had. 

Maybe Marinette meant more to him than he was willing to admit. 

So, Jason existed, even though he didn’t want to. It only took a week for Paris to start talking about him consistently, so he watched the news, monitored what he did when he wasn’t in control. It seemed that he hadn’t killed anyone yet - or if he had, the Miraculous Cure had brought them back. Apparently he lost consciousness during akuma attacks, and on several occasions he’d simply shot the akuma down, disappearing while Ladybug and Chat Noir dealt with the aftermath. 

In theory the fact that he hadn’t shot anyone should have been some small consolation, but he couldn’t avoid that suspicion that he wasn’t actually helping the French heroes. He’d dealt with enough in Gotham to know when something was playing head games to accomplish their own means, and whatever it was that controlled him during his blackouts wanted something sinister. 

Weeks passed just like that, Jason slowly losing himself day by day to the anger, the destruction he caused. 

The nothingness. 

Disguises, masks, his life was pushed into the shadows. He didn’t even think that he could actually call this  _ living. _ Jason chuckled to himself, the sound cold and empty. His miraculous second chance at life left him in even worse shape than before Bruce found him, cold and hungry and completely without the will to live. 

Jason didn’t have much hope for the future - really, he had a single hope. When the time came, he hoped that next time he stayed dead. 

***********

She couldn’t understand - Marinette had known Jay for less than twenty-four hours, but the memory of him still haunted her. Did he have a safe place to stay? Was he eating enough? Had he fully succumbed to the influence of the Lazarus Pits yet? 

Shaking herself, she turned her attention back to the issue at hand: Red Hood, the mysterious new vigilante. He had dodged any efforts she or Chat made to follow or talk to him, so they decided to split up and look for him outside of an akuma attack. It was doubtful that it would yield anything, but Marinette knew that if that hideous outfit she’d been forced to make was visible, she would spot it. The jury was still out on whether or not she would destroy it - if the opportunity presented itself, she would be more than tempted. 

Swinging around the city until it was dark seemed like more than enough, though. Pausing on a rooftop, Ladybug spoke into her yo-yo. “I think it’s time to call it quits,  _ Chaton. _ We both need to get some rest.” 

“Brilliant idea, M’Lady. Don’t worry, we’ll find him soon.” 

“I have no doubt about that,  _ Chaton. _ After all, I can’t just let him steal my colors like this.” 

Chat Noir let out a surprised bark of laughter. “I don’t know what happened to bring you back to yourself, Bugaboo, but it’s nice to have the old you back.”

“It feels nice to be back, Kitty. Now sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” 

“Oh, you’re trying to steal my lines now? Just you wait, my new jokes are going to be insuf- _ fur- _ able.” 

The two bantered a bit before finally saying goodbye. Detransforming, Marinette clambered down the building’s fire escape. It was dusk, so she probably should have gone straight home, but there was a grocery store not too far away, and she needed a few things. 

“ _ Bonjour,”  _ the tired shop owner called upon her entrance. 

“ _ Bonjour! _ ” Marinette replied, mentally making a list of things she needed. She was content to browse the shelves idly, despite the dwindling sunlight. It was a smaller store, and a handful of others milled around as well. 

Marinette was staring down the produce and deciding what she wanted to make the coming week when the shopkeeper yelled, “Stop! Thief!”

Instinctively dropping her basket, Marinette launched herself to the doors of the store where someone was attempting to flee. He got caught up in a crowd on the sidewalk, which gave Marinette more time to catch up to him. 

The closer she got to him, the more she recognized an eerie situation permeating the air. Now with completely different intentions, Marinette pounced, catching Jay’s and in hers. 

She hauled him into an empty alleyway before demanding, “Jay? Are you okay? What’s going on? Why did you leave? Especially if you have to steal!” 

Seeing him like this hurt, definitely more than Marinette could have ever expected it to. His eyes widened when they met hers, full of emotions - pain, fear, and regret swirled in his eyes before that same toxic green clouded them and anger reigned supreme. Snarling like a feral animal, he lunged towards Marinette with hands outstretched.

Marinette had been dreaming of finding Jay again for weeks, but this wasn’t how she’d pictured any of it happening. She dodged instinctively, and her stomach twisted when his jacket fell open just enough to see the familiar bullet proof material he wore underneath. 

So, it seemed she’d found Red Hood after all. 

None of it made sense just yet, but some of the pieces were starting to fall into place. All along it had seemed like Red Hood had been attempting to help in his own, destructive way, but he had never spoken, and his movements were always jerky, uncontrolled, not at all the way that Jay moved ordinarily. As someone alive because of the pits, he was probably drawn to all of the errant Miraculous energy.

It wasn’t fair. Overwhelmed by the injustice of his situation, Marinette’s body took over. She ducked another of his lunges and pivoted on her heel, her other one connecting solidly with his temple. He crumpled on impact, leaving Marinette panting and slightly regretting her hasty action. But her recently unleashed emotions burned within her. 

Screw the Lazarus Pits, screw Jay’s anger, and screw Hawkmoth. Neither of them had asked for any of this - neither of them  _ deserved  _ any of this.

She went back in to pay for the food she’d dropped and he’d stolen before calling a taxi.

“Marinette, what are you thinking?” Tikki asked, flitting around her head while they waited. 

“I’ve been complacent for too long. I understand why I’ve done what I’ve done, but no more. Hawkmoth, whoever did this to Jay, they better watch out because I’m taking our lives back.” Marinette glanced to the bag she assumed held Red Hood’s helmet. “But only after I burn that awful helmet.”

Tikki couldn’t reply because it was then that the cabbie arrived, but she settled in Marinette’s purse, practically glowing.  _ Finally. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know it's been forever, sorry about that. I had a wicked case of writer's block, which was compounded by the fact that I only have the loosest of outlines for this fic. Picking what direction I needed to go was harder than I thought it would be. But I'm not giving up on this story, I promise to see it through to the end no matter how long it takes!


	8. Chapter 8

Marinette kind of knew what to expect this time, and she wouldn’t make the same mistakes. (She felt a little bad that she was the reason he was unconscious this time, but desperate times called for desperate measures.) 

For some reason, the kwami were even more agitated this time. They zipped around his unconscious body, muttering things to each other in such low voices that Marinette couldn’t catch what exactly they had been saying. In general they seemed excited, but there was also a wave of worry amongst them that she was a little scared to ask about. So, instead she busied herself with getting things ready - making more soup, and getting fluids nearby to give him when he woke up. He hadn’t healed completely the first time she’d dragged him home, and he was impossibly in even worse shape now than he had been then. 

When Jay woke up, she was ready. His waking was violent and frightened, but she was there to pin him down and make sure he didn’t do anything he would regret. 

“Jay. Jay! Calm down, you’re safe! It’s me, Marinette!” she shouted to hopefully get through to him. 

After a few moments of thrashing, he stilled, his eyes finally focusing. “Marinette?” 

“Yes, Marinette,” she repeated, letting up on him. “We need to talk. Why did you run away, especially if it meant that you ended up on the street?” 

“How did I get here?” he asked, looking around, bewildered. “Also, how did you fix everything so well? It looks like nothing ever happened.” 

“I may have knocked you out earlier and I’m good with my hands. But seriously Jay, why did you run away?” 

He finally looked at her, his eyes a somber blue. “Marinette, you saw what I did to this place. I wasn’t in control at all, and that terrifies me. What if something like that happens again and I hurt you instead?” 

Marinette’s heart twisted at the devastation in his eyes. “Jay, you didn’t hurt me. And even if you tried to, I’m not a pushover. But I’m also not afraid of getting hurt, it wouldn’t be the first or last time. We’re never going to find a solution to this if you keep running away.” 

“This is crazy, you barely know me. Why are you risking yourself this way?” he asked, shaking his head. 

“Because I can’t leave someone scared and alone,” Marinette said seriously. “Paris has been suffering for a long time -  _ I’ve  _ been suffering for a long time. But I’ve recently realized that we’re not going to be able to get through any of this if we don’t start helping each other more. You probably don’t realize this, but just you being here has helped me more than I can say. I… This is going to sound weird, but it almost feels like I know you, Jay. Just… just let me help you, please.” 

Unconsciously, Marinette clenched her hands into fists, worried about how this would be perceived. She watched his face closely, observing the emotions that passed over it. 

“Okay,” he finally said, quietly. “I’ll trust you, and I… I’ll try to trust myself.”

********

As terrified as Jason was, the strange… stability he’d noticed from being around Marinette before held true even now. It was like pieces of his mind were slowly shifting back into his control the longer he sat in her house. He was still impossibly broken, but he could function to a degree. 

The thought of trusting himself around Marinette was absurd, at least in his mind. The thought of hurting her was physically painful - but even as he was attempting to plan his next great escape, he couldn’t bring himself to actually make the preparations to go through with it. Even with her physical welfare potentially in jeopardy, Jason knew that she might never forgive him if he left again, and he couldn’t have that. 

It was amazing what a few days of eating real food and actually sleeping could do for a person. He was still convinced that Marinette was the cause of any and all improvements, but he was beginning to remember that there were things he actually liked about being alive. He liked the taste of Marinette’s cooking, and the light that was finding its way back into her eyes whenever they talked. He liked the feeling of a bed of his own once more, and coming to it every night. 

He liked how obvious Marinette made it that she wasn’t letting him go anywhere anytime soon. She cleaned out one of her fabric rooms in the basement to make a space for him. (Initially Jason felt bad about this until he realized that the entire basement was filled with fabric and other sewing paraphernalia.)

“There are going to be some ground rules, obviously,” Marinette said, brushing a lock of hair out of her face. The two of them had just finished moving all of the needed furniture into his room, and Jason had to admit that he was more than a little attracted to her after seeing her heft an antique wooden dresser all by herself. 

“Hit me with them.” 

“I won’t pry into your life as long as you don’t pry into mine,” she said frankly, collapsing onto the bed. “I would love for us to be friends, but there are things I can’t tell you. I’ll take care of your room and board, and in return I might make you do some housework or something. No, you’re not going to pay me back. This is something I  _ want  _ to do for you, Jay.” 

When she looked at him with those soulful blue eyes, Jason found that the protests that had been forming died on his lips. “I’ll find a way to pay you back eventually, but for now I guess that works.” 

She smiled, but it wasn’t without weariness. “There’s one more thing you should know. When I found you this last time, I found your costume. I know you’re the Red Hood.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I know it's been forever. Life has been insane (duh) lately, but I also decided to participate in Jasonette July, which turns out to take a lot of time and inspiration. If you're interested, you can check out "How to be a Dad 101" and "Dream of Me," which were my entries for it. I also just started grad school, so I can't guarantee any sort of update schedule. Thank you all for sticking with me, and I'm really excited for the things coming up in this story!

**Author's Note:**

> Many of you have probably read this already on my Tumblr, but here it is! My first full-length fic for the Maribat community! Let me know what you guys think!


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